One of the things about growth is that not everyone gets it. While I embrace it, those around me don’t always understand, sometimes resist, and sometimes are just stuck somewhere I don’t really want to put myself.
It sucks to keep looking back at someone you love, see them stuck and suffering, and know that you can’t just pick them up and make them come with you.
I also experience this sort of dissonance with people. It comes from my own intuition, – claircognizance of their higher self. I realized that I’ve often been confused about people’s actions, and it’s led me to hang on to relationships when I really shouldn’t have, misinterpret intentions, actions… What I understood was a sense of their potential, who they are, if they serve their higher self, but just because I can sense it, doesn’t mean they’re aware, or capable of choosing to serve it at the time.
With people in my life, I can explain, nudge, ask questions to help them, but I can’t make them do anything. It’s not that I don’t want to continue a lot of relationships, but that I don’t want myself in certain situations any longer because it’s not healthy for me.
This innate knowing has caused an ache in me, between what I know, and what is. It’s a deep yearning for people to be free of everything that holds them back from being their higher self. I dislike that there is no good way to talk about this, that won’t make people dismissive of it because it sounds to far out. But it’s practical. It’s like seeing something, or reading something, and then understanding it. It’s frustrating like watching someone try to put together some complicated lego castle without using the instructions – everything is off and the drawbridge won’t move…but you know it could, if they’d just adjust a few pieces…
I can’t move your pieces, but I don’t want to lose you in the moat, and I can’t go in there again, any more than I can re-believe in the magic of Santa.
These analogies are terrible and I miss you.
Jen Palmer 